Monday, June 14, 2010

My Last Night At Home

This is my last night in my own bed. Mother and the girls made a special meal for me tonight. It was like a holiday. They would not let me help at all. Father and I went out for long ride this morning, even though I felt I should be at home helping to do something. Kenneth and Teddy were busy getting chickens ready for butchering and Mother and the girls were preparing food to take to the church in the  morning for the wedding dinner. So much to do.

My bedroom is pretty empty since all my belongings have been sent to my house. My house. Who would think I would be talking about my house? It never crossed my mind something like this would be happening to me this summer. Moving out of my house. My hope chest is gone. Most of my clothing is gone except for what I am wearing today and my wedding dress that I will be wearing tomorrow. How will I ever be able to sleep tonight? I wonder what Avery is doing or thinking about tonight? Is he as scared as I am? I believe men are never scared of anything. They go off into the woods to hunt and can be gone for days and are never scared of wild animals or Indians. Avery drives those wagons and is on the road by himself without anyone around. He probably can take care of anything like an animal or an Indian.

Avery's family was very nice to me so I think I can ask them for help if I have any problems running a house by myself. I do not know what kind of house it is. Father was going to tell me when he came back from taking my things there. But of course, Avery sent his driver, Orville Babcock, to pick up my things so Father did not get the chance. I wonder if he did that on purpose? I think it is strange that he does not want me to see my house before we are married. I hope that is a good thing.

Tonight I am having a cup of warm milk to help me sleep. I just know I will not be able to fall asleep with all the thoughts I am having running through my head tonight. Avery Longworth is older than me. He is 25 years old and I am only 16. I had no idea why he wanted to marry me because he hardly knew me. Mother says that men like to get established more  before they get married. She says it is good for a man to do that instead of rushing into marriage when they are experiencing "puppy love." I guess that is why he has a house that he built and a business that he runs. Now he must want a wife and children. Children. I am very nervous about that part. Not so much raising them as I have always been around children and can take care of them just fine. It is all the other parts and having them I am not sure about.

I got down on my knees tonight like I do every night to say my prayers, "Please Almighty Father in Heaven, help me to get through tomorrow without fainting. Help me to be strong for it will be hard to leave my family. Especially to leave my parents tomorrow, and go home with Avery. Avery Longworth seems to be a good man and wanted me for a wife. Please help me to be what he wanted. Thank you Lord God, in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016