I found my sister, Lorraine crying in the hayloft yesterday. I was surprised to find her so sad as she has always been like a ray of sunshine. She giggles and makes up jokes, since she has gotten older plays pranks on family members. If she gets in trouble, which is rare, she pouts awhile but gets over it fast.....especially if she knows that what she did was wrong. Our parents have always spoiled her a bit since she is the youngest. I was concerned immediately, "Rainy, what is wrong?"
She looked up surprised to see me there since she must not have heard me come into the barn. "Nothing." And she bent her head down quickly so she did not have to look in my eyes.
"Rainy, I know you better than that. You would not be hiding up here crying if everything was fine and dandy with you. Now tell me what is making you cry like this."
She looked up at me trying not to cry anymore. "Rachel, I am a bad person. I think I am going to go to hell."
"Lorriane Kennedy! How can you say that? You don't have a bad bone in your body!" I exclaimed, wondering what had happened to upset her so much. "Now tell me right now what you are crying about."
"I prayed that when Avery Longworth came here that you would not like him. Or that he would not like you. That he would change his mind and not marry you," then she began to sob again.
"Why would you do that Rainy?" I asked, puzzled as to what made her feel that way.
"Rachel, I don't want you to move out of our house. Can't you and Avery live in your bedroom here? I am sure Mother and Father would not mind."
"Oh Rainy, I can't do that. All of us children will be getting married and moving into our own homes to start our own families," I paused, trying to think how best to explain this to my little sister who has always been very attached to me. "Mother had to leave Grandma's house, and her brothers and sisters, to live with Father. If she hadn't, where would we be now?" It seemed to be a lot for my nine year old sister to grasp. I had cared for her since she was a baby when Mother was busy doing other chores. I had loved tending to her, and pretending she was my own baby. Now I would be married this year, and maybe have a real baby of my own by next year! I get excited when I think about that. But now, I have to think how best to calm her fears right now.
"I won't ever see you again. Or at least not very often. Not like now," she whimpered.
"No, it won't be like now. But you are growing up, and it is time for you to start learning to do the things I do, so that you will be ready to be a wife when you are sixteen too. That is not that far away you know. Then you will have your own husband and you will be starting your family in your own house." she sat there and listened, and that seemed to stop her crying.
"My own husband?" she laughed at the thought.
"That time will be here before you know it. You need to start your hope chest and fill it with all the things you will need in your own house. Not play toys anymore. Real tools for your home. Tell Mother you want to start filling it up. She will help you and so will I, while I am still here." I smiled down at her tear stained face.
She jumped up and ran into my arms and hugged me, "Rachel, I love you! I want my husband and me to live next door to you!" she exclaimed.
I laughed at her, "I don't even know where I am going to be living yet. But I would love it if you were living near me, if not next door. Let's go see if Mother needs any help in the kitchen."
Copyright © 2010 Kathleen G. Lupole