Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Expectations Of Marriage

Today Mother and I were doing some mending on the back porch. We were talking about my wedding and other things. Mother said quietly, "You know Rachel, there is more to getting married than a wedding and a new house," she looked at me intently.

I squirmed a little bit. I was afraid of what she wanted to discuss with me. She had made sure the girls were out doing errands for her and I had a feeling she wanted to talk privately with me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you have seen babies born. You have have seen mares have foals. You have seen cows have calves and have even pulled a couple out yourself. Many times you have assisted Father with Ebony, and the breeding of the mares. Do you know what I am getting at?" she questioned gently, but firmly.

I was not comfortable talking about this subject with Mother. I felt my face turning deep red. "Mother, I know. We don't have to talk about it do we?"

She looked at me and frowned, "Rachel, I want you to have a clear idea of what it means when you take a husband. When Avery Longworth takes you home after your big wedding and day of fun......well, I want you to know what will be expected of you."

"Mother, I know." I answered her trying to think of how to end this uncomfortable conversation.

"You will be alone with a man - not a boy. A man. Not one of your childhood pals. He will be expecting certain things of you. Think of marriage as a partnership. You will be a wife doing all the wifely jobs that I have taught you over the years. He will be going to work and taking care of you. You will have a home and furniture and food and whatever else you need," she looked at me and smiled tenderly. It seemed as if she was wondering what else she should say.

"I know what he will expect of me," I answered quickly hoping that would end it.

"I don't want to find out that you locked him out of your bedroom. Or that you hitched your buggy and drove all the way home on your wedding night," she smiled again.

"Mother, I know you and Father sleep in the same room in the same bed. I know that is what Avery will expect of me too."

"Yes Rachel, but there is more to it than just sleeping. Like the horses you have seen bred. He will expect to have physical contact with you in a way that may not be comfortable as first. It will get better, or at least easier as time goes on. That will be the way you will become pregnant and have your children. Do you understand what I mean now?"

I nodded. I fought the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I did not want her to see me cry over this. I had an idea of what was expected, but I did not know the exact details.....not for sure. I just wanted Mother to leave the room and leave me alone.

"Rachel honey, there is a possibility it will hurt and it could make you bleed. I just want you to know that, and there is nothing wrong with that. That is normal. Our Lord made us for this. It is our job on earth to satisfy our husbands and do what they ask," she got up and gathered her mending together in her basket.

I looked at her and thought how could she be happy that I would be leaving here, and have to do all this for a man I hardly know? She reached down to me and pulled my hand up so I stood in front of her. She wiped the tears from my eyes with her handkerchief. She hugged me close to her and whispered, "I love you dearly honey. You are my first born girl. I just want you to have a happy life. This man, Avery Longworth will take good care of you. He is a Godly man, a hard worker and a responsible man. I am sure your life will be happy with him. You won't have to work too hard or go without. Do you understand?"

I nodded up at her as I hugged her. Then she left the room. I sat there till I felt a little better. I looked at the socks I was mending. My father's. It won't be long before I won't be mending his socks anymore. I will be mending my own husband's socks.  A man. Avery Longworth's socks. What will my life be like? It is almost the end of April and my wedding is in June. I better get in touch with Eliza about my shower. I am getting married! Getting married to Avery Longworth!

Copyright © 2010 Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016