Sharing The Truth

It has been tough for me knowing what I saw on Lola's back. The bruises and scars that had to be inflicted on her by her husband's wrath. I still cannot believe that of William Saunders. I have kept my distance from him and have tried to keep Lola from being alone with him as much as possible. That has been hard. She goes looking for him if she hasn't seen him in awhile. I cannot comprehend this.

I was sitting on a bench in the barn when Avery rode in. Lola was inside finishing up in the kitchen and I was resting out here not expecting Avery to come riding in at this time of day. He smiled when he saw me, "Hey this what you are doing when I'm off working all day!"

I knew he was kidding me, "Yep, I figure while the husband is gone, I may as well take a rest."

He got off his horse, Black Knight and said, "I came home early because I need to talk to you." He looked around nervously, "Alone."

"We are alone. William was with you I thought. Lola is in the kitchen and I doubt she'll be coming out here to the  barn."

"William asked me to speak to you. Without telling Lola."

"About what?" I immediately got on the defensive and stood up, "What is he saying about her?"

Avery chuckled, "Not about her.........about you!"

"About me? What'd he tell you about me?"

"He said you have changed toward him. He feels that you all of a sudden you hate him and he is uncomfortable."

I didn't say anything, but looked down. Wondering if I should tell Avery or if that would get Lola in more trouble with her husband.

"Rachel?" Avery's tone had become very serious.

I looked up at him and had to tell him what I knew, "Yes, it has changed. I saw Lola getting out of the bath tub and her body is covered with scars and bruises. She has been beaten! And not just once, many times. I cannot stand William Saunders anymore."

Avery looked thoughtful, "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Did you speak to her about it?"

"No, she tried to cover herself. I felt she didn't want me to know. So I didn't say anything." I felt relieved to have shared this information with Avery.

Avery stood there for a few minutes not saying a word. He was taking in all that I had told him. He took Black Knight to his stall and took his saddle off and started brushing him down. He looked back to me with concern in his face then spoke, "Rachel, I have always known men who beat their wives. Many that you would never guess until you saw the black eyes on the women."

"What are you saying? That Lola had it coming to her?" I asked indignantly.

"No, No, I am saying that I grew up with a father that taught me better. That he taught me to respect women and most especially, my mother, sisters and my future wife."

Avery looked up, all of a sudden we saw William coming up the road driving the wagon home. Avery motioned me toward the house. "Rachel, I better handle this man to man."

"Okay, I'll go in and help Lola."

I got up to go inside, "Don't mention anything about this to Lola. Let me hear what he has to say for himself."

"Alright." I headed for the house and ignored William's nod to me as he passed me into the barn.

Copyright © 2011  Kathleen G. Lupole

All Photographs Copyright © 2011  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Disappointed!

Lola had asked me if I minded if she took a bath this morning. She had cleaned up the kitchen for me while I was out in the barn doing some morning chores. After that she had decided it would be a perfect time for a hot bath, so she got out our copper tub. Avery had bought this particular tub special for me when we first got married. He realized a woman needed a real tub. I loved it and have enjoyed many baths in it since. Lola had brought the water in and was heating it. I never have to help her do anything. In fact, she is the one who helps me the most. I kind of dread the time when the Saunders do move on and out on their own.

I figured if she was taking a bath downstairs, I would get the beds stripped  as today is the day I wash the bedding and hang it in the sun. It is the perfect day today, sunny. So I stripped Avery's and my bed and piled the sheets in my basket and moved on to their room. Their room, the guest room is not really finished yet. I had managed to get a bed for it because of my sisters visiting and staying overnight every now and then. Avery had made a small dresser for it. It is plain. Not like what I planned for my guest room. It didn't seem to be that important. When Jacob was here, he slept in the front room on the little bed that Avery used until we got married.

I went into their room to get the sheets and I pulled back the quilt and I could tell that only half of the bed had been slept in. I looked and saw some blankets folded up with a pillow on a chair. Now what is going on here? They are not sharing their bed? How strange that is if I am correct? William appears to really care about Lola and is very attentive to her. I can't imagine he would not want to share his wife's bed. Maybe I am wrong. I took the sheets off the bed and put them in my basket. I left the room and went downstairs.

I decided to check on Benjamin and saw he was awake and ready to get up. He was hungry and wanting to eat. I took him with me to the kitchen. I knocked lightly on the swinging door before entering since Lola was taking a bath. I was brought up with girls taking baths and didn't think anything of walking into the kitchen to get Benjamin a bit of food. Lola jumped. She was just getting out of the tub and wasn't covered up. She tried to cover herself with her hands.

I said, "Lola, it's just me and Benjamin. Nobody else. I just need to get him a little piece of cracker."

She stood there looking fearful, "I'm sorry". She turned from me to dry off. I looked at her back and she had scars. Not just one scar but it looked like many scars. All over it and she had some on the backs of her legs. I wanted to say something to her, but she seemed ready to run if I said a word to her. I got the cracker for Benjamin and took a piece of fruit and left the kitchen.

I sat holding Benjamin thinking about what I saw. It looks like she has been beaten and not just once. I know what that scarring means on a person. She is a little women. I thought of the size of William Saunders' hands. I just cannot believe he would do such a thing to her. What about all the Bible reading and praying he does? I cannot let him stay here if he is beating his poor wife. No wonder Lola isn't sleeping in the same bed. I wouldn't either. She is so dependent on him though. Always looks to him before she answers Avery or me. She must be afraid of him, though I didn't have a sense of that before.

When I saw Lola outside emptying the tub, I went into the kitchen. I needed to think of what to do in this case. I know William has not laid a hand on her since they have been here. She is safe here with us. So I will try to keep them here longer though no one has mentioned their leaving.

That night I kept a close eye on William and the way he was with Lola. She didn't appear to be scared of him at all. In fact, she seemed to trust him and even love him. It was hard for me to be pleasant to him though. I saw him look at me several times like he couldn't understand what has made me mad at him. I told them I was tired and was going to bed early. I came to bed and just lay there hearing Avery's voice downstairs talking with William. Even Avery likes William, and I did too. It makes me so mad that he has turned out to be a wife beater. I must not be as good a judge of people as I thought.

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

When Things Aren't Always What They Appear

Photo Credit: Sam Mugraby

Lola and William Saunders have been staying with us now for close to two months. William is easy going and very helpful. It is easy to like him. Like Avery, he is a Godly man. For me, that is an important quality for any man to have. Many times in the evenings, William will take out his own worn Bible and start reading. When he finishes he will take a hold of Lola's hand and pray, earnestly looking into her eyes. She will seem to have a peace of sorts come over her when he does this. I found it very comforting myself.

Lola though, I haven't felt I know her any better than the day she rode up here on her worn out horse. She has been a huge help to me. Not only doing chores, but helping with Benjamin and doing much of the cooking. She is a very accomplished cook for her years. She is older than me, but seems even older than that. I don't know why I can't seem to gain her confidence and be a friend to her. She is very appreciative that we let them share the roof over our heads.

Today, I did some laundry and most of it was bedding. Now that they are using our guest bedroom I have more of it to do. I don't really mind. It is nice to have some company and the help around here is nice, especially since I am carrying our second child. This baby is going to be a strong child, as he or she has been kicking me constantly. Sometimes I feel really worn out as I am not getting proper sleep. Lately Lola tells me to go take a nap and she will prepare our supper. She surprises me with the kind of meals she comes up with from our supplies. I must admit, I usually prepare very simple foods that I ate at home. Her meals seem to have an elegant touch.

William has been doing much of the barn work. Cleaning out the stalls like Jacob did when he was here. He has also been going into the freight office in the afternoon to give Avery a hand. Sometimes he will even pick up supplies for us so I don't have to drive to town. He is a big man, but gentle in his ways. I looked at his hands and thought to myself  that I had never seen hands that big before. Very strong indeed, as I saw him pick up two fifty pound bags of supplies at the same time and carry inside.

Today, I was out in the barn brushing Tator and Spud when Avery came in to check on a new foal. William was cleaning the stalls and he and Avery were talking. Avery said to him, "Will, where did you grow up? If you don't mind me asking?"

"No, I don't mind. I grew up in New York City."

"Now I would have never guessed that. Though now that you mention it, I should have sensed that."

"I was a street kid."

"No parents or family?"

"Oh I had parents all right and plenty of family. But when you live in a city, most of the kids live on the streets. Just go home to sleep and eat. Ma and Pa had a tough time with us kids. We did what we wanted and they both were working all the time. Couldn't keep an eye on us young'uns."

"I can't even imagine. I grew up in town, in Norwich. My parents knew where or what we were doing every minute. And we'd better be there too or else!"

"I wish it had been that way with us. But you know kids. Nobody could tell us what to do. Our ma had to work in a sweat shop just to make ends meet. Pa worked long hours building buildings. But was never enough."

"Now as I look back," Avery replied, "I'm glad my parents were that way. Our children will be brought up the same way. Rachel's parents too, were very strict but taught their children well."

"Yes, that is how it should be," William answered thoughtfully.

"Well, maybe you and Lola can get settled for awhile and then start your family. Then you can raise your kids that way. It's good for them for their future."

Rachel strained to hear his reply as his voice got really soft and wistful, "We'll see. There's more to it than that with us. Don't know how things will turn out for us." Then he walked outside.

She looked at Avery and he shrugged his shoulders.

Later as I got ready for bed, I thought about that conversation between William and Avery. He seems to be another person with sadness in his life. Yet most of the time he puts up a good front. I hope I never have to be like that. I brushed my hair waiting for Avery to come up to bed. He had gone out to the barn for the third time since supper to check the new foal.

I got down on my knees to pray. "Dear Lord, thank you for all you have bestowed on me. Giving me a loving husband and a healthy, happy son and soon, our second child. Thank you for my parents and for them being the kind of parents who took extra care with me and my brothers and sisters to bring us up in a family of love and of knowing You. Please Lord, help me give help to poor Lola and William as they stay under our roof and need our help in finding their own way to a home and family of their own. And most of all, Dear God, thank you for sending your son, Jesus Christ to save us from our sins. In Jesus's name, I ask it all. Amen."

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Unexpected Visitors

Photo Credit: State Library Of Queensland

It has been a week since I told Avery I was pregnant. He is treating me like I am fragile again. I am almost over my morning sickness by now. I am excited about having another baby. Benjamin will have another child to play with as he gets older. I so didn't want to have only one child. I hope to have many more. A large family is what we want. After Avery left for work this morning, I went out to gather eggs and I could feel again as if someone was watching me. I hate that feeling. I hate acting like one of those prissy girls afraid of every little thing. Next time I go out to the barn, I am carrying my pistol in my pocket. It is small, a woman's gun, but it will shoot nevertheless.

I heard horse hooves on the road and went to the door to look out. There was a man and a woman riding up the road. I had never seen them before. They stopped out front and talked to each other, then rode into our drive. I stepped out the door, "Hello," I said.

"Are you Mrs. Longworth?" the man asked.

I nodded, "Yes, I am."

"Well, my name is William Saunders and this is my wife Lola. I have just had a meeting with your husband and he sent us here. He said to tell you that he'll be along soon. We have no place to go and don't know no one. He said you'd give us a little something to eat. We haven't eaten in days. Maybe we could sleep in your barn?"

I looked at his wife, she nodded but didn't speak. She looked pale and  I could tell she was very skinny under the dress she was wearing. Her eyes looked weary, her body weak. I took in their horses, good saddles, looked like quality animals that had recently been through lean times. I walked over to the woman's horse and touched his shoulder, he felt warm. His instinct told him to trust me and he smelled of me. I pat his head then said, "Mr. Saunders, get your wife down. Help her up the steps, I will take the horses to the barn."

I led the horses into the barn. Our horses were out in the pasture, so I took them into two empty stalls. Gave them fresh water, and took off the saddles quickly. I heard someone behind me, it was Mr. Saunders. "Mrs. Longworth, you should have let me do that. It's too heavy for you."

I looked at him, "Mr. Saunders, I have been tacking up horses my whole life. It is not hard work for me."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything......to imply that you couldn't do it."

I looked at him, he seemed worn out. I wondered what Avery had gotten us into now. But kept silent. I grabbed a pail and filled it with some apples from the bin. I will add some pies to our supper tonight. Looks like these people could stand to eat a good meal. He followed me out of the barn and up the path to the house and didn't say a word.

His wife was sitting on the bench and got up as we came up the stairs. I opened the door, and heard Benjamin stirring from his nap. I told them to sit down and I went into the front room and picked him up and brought him out to the kitchen, "Aw, look at him," Mr. Saunders spoke and looked at his wife. She smiled weakly.

I put Benjamin in his seat near the table. He stared at the strangers but didn't make a peep. I turned to Mr. Saunders, "I don't know your story, but I don't have time for it right now. I need to get some food into your wife. My husband will be home soon and wanting his supper. So it is best I get started. I have a venison roast on the fire now," I motioned toward the pot hanging on the hearth. I knew they could smell it.

I quickly peeled the apples from the pail and Lola finally spoke, "Uh, Miz Longworth, I could give you a hand with that. I know how to cook."

I started to say no, then thought better of it, "Here wash your hands," I poured water in the basin for her pushed the soap nearby. She nodded and started washing.

Mr.Saunders then said, "Lola is a fine cook, Mrs. Longworth. You'll see." He smiled at her and she smiled back. I looked at her and saw she had been a pretty woman until hard times had hit them, or whatever had happened to bring them here to our home tonight. All of a sudden I heard the hooves of Avery's horse.  I rushed to the door as he rode in. I turned back to my guests, and saw that Lola was putting the crusts in the pie pans.

"I'll be right back. Keep an eye on my son."

I hurried out the barn. Avery was brushing down Black Knight. "Avery!"

He turned to look at me, "Rachel, I see my friends have made it here."

"Your friends? Do you know these people?"

"In a way. They were down by the freight office yesterday and I spoke to them. Then this morning they were back again. I think they slept in the hay loft. I didn't say anything, but later I noticed them picking up pieces of apples that children had given one of the horses. Eating them right from the ground! I couldn't leave them there another night."

"Well, the wife, Lola, is half starved. She is helping me with supper right now."

Avery caught a hold of me, and looked into my eyes, "You're not angry with me then?"

I looked into the eyes of my husband, "How could I be angry with a man helping a starving man and woman? Isn't that what Jesus would have done? I am proud of you for sending them here to our home."

"The Lord has blessed us Rachel. We need to help others best we can. Times are tough."

I grabbed his hand, "Come let us get these people fed and a warm bed to sleep in tonight. Their horses were worn out and hungry too. Might have to give them a little extra when you come out later."

"Yes, always thinking of the horses, aren't you Rachel?" He smiled down at me, "Yes, let's get these people taken care of. It's a sad thing to see a couple out there picking up garbage to eat. We have so much."

I nodded, tears glistening in my eyes as I thought how blessed I truly am.

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

News For Avery

Photo Credit: Petr Kratochvil

I got Benjamin ready for bed early today. Avery was going to be home a little later than usual so I gave Benjamin his bath early and got him into bed. Then I prepared our supper. A special supper for just the two of us. I put my favorite tablecloth on the table and used our best dishes. These dishes had belonged to my grandmother.  She had given them to me before she died, saying, "Rachel, I want you to have my good china. Your grandfather bought these on a trip to the city one year for my Christmas present. He paid good money for them. Goodness, I was afraid to use them most of the time. I want you to have them because you are the oldest girl and the most like me."

I loved these dishes. I used to take them out of my trunk and unwrap them and look at them. They have tiny roses with lace in the design. I would wonder if I would ever get to use these dishes. Back then it was like a dream, being married and having my own family. Now, if my grandmother was alive she'd be proud of me and my family. I think she would like my family.

Now I had everything ready, the pot roast and fresh root vegetables from our garden that I cooked gently in the fire most of the day. Biscuits that I had just taken out of the oven and two apple pies with fresh whipped cream for dessert. I quickly fastened my hair up on my head and grabbed the dress I had brought downstairs earlier. A new lavender dress I had been making for a special occasion. This would be that occasion. Besides, I probably wouldn't be able to wear it much longer as my waist is already starting to expand. I looked down at it. It may not be noticeable yet.

Just then I heard horse hooves come up the drive. He's here! I hurried to fasten the clasp in the back of the dress. I went to the window and saw Avery leading his horse, Knight into the barn. I quickly carried in the dishes and set them on the table. Just as I came back to the kitchen Avery opened the door, "Anyone home? It looks dark in here."

I smiled at him but didn't speak.

"What is it Rachel?" He looked around, "Where's the baby? Is Benjamin okay?"

"He is in bed. I decided to put him to bed early tonight since you were going to be later." I picked up the pitcher of fresh milk and carried it out the kitchen door to the dining room.

"I smell food, but don't see any." He followed me, "Are we having company for supper?" he questioned looking puzzled.

"No, we are having a private supper tonight. Just you and me." I lit the candles on the table. I looked at him and smiled, took his hand and led him to the wash basin in the kitchen. "Here let me help you." I poured the water on his hand and he soaped them up with the bar of soap.

"Rachel, I don't know what has gotten into you, but I tell you when you do something like that, it makes me want to skip supper."

"Do something like what?" I looked up into his eyes, then I took the towel and dried his hands real good. Taking a hold of each finger and really drying it.

"Just like that," he grabbed a hold of me and pulled me into his arms. He started kissing me and I felt like I was the happiest woman in the world. I wanted to tell him my news, but held back. After supper. I didn't want to spoil it after all my work.

"Come on, let's save supper for tomorrow." He tried to steer me toward the stairs.

"Oh no, Avery! I have gone to a lot of trouble for our special supper tonight. Besides I have news for you."

"News? What kind of news?"

"Good news, but it'll wait till dessert." I smiled mischievously at him.

After we had our supper and I brought the coffee and pie in, Avery said to me, "Aw come on Rachel, share your secret. It can't be that bad."

"Okay, Mr. Longworth since you can't wait through dessert. Guess what!"

"Guess what? How can I guess? My first thought is your sister is not going to marry her beau after all."

"No. We are going to have another baby!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"A baby? Are you kidding?" He jumped up and swooped me into his arms. "Really? You're not joking are you?"

"Nope. I am positive."

"Oh Rachel, that is the best news you could have told me."

He held me in his arms so tightly, I could scarcely breath. "Come on, let's eat this dessert so I can clean up the kitchen."

"And get to bed early," he winked at me. I still get that feeling of excitement when he looks at me like that. I couldn't wait to get the rest of the meal finished and my chores in the kitchen done. Avery went out to the barn to tend to the animals.

"Oh Lord, I am the luckiest woman in the world. Thank you." I prayed silently.

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Life Goes On

Photo Credit: Jon Sullivan

I have been feeling sick for over two weeks now. I am positive I am carrying our second baby. I have not told Avery yet what I suspect. He has been busy getting the building ready in town to run the freight business from. I am afraid he will worry about me if he knows I am already pregnant again. Besides I think I want to keep it to myself for a little while. It hasn't been easy hiding being sick when I prepared breakfast. What I have been doing is to rise earlier. Then I get the fire going, the coffee brewing and I study my Bible in the lamplight for awhile. It has proved to be the perfect time.

Today Ruth came for a surprise visit. She brought me gifts of oranges that a friend of her late husband had brought her from down south. They were bright orange and shiny. I will hate to use them as I like the way they look on my table in a bowl. We sat down to a cup of tea in the kitchen and I felt sick again. I waited for the feeling to pass.

"Rachel, you don't get to town much anymore do you?' she asked as she chose a cookie from the plate I had put down in front of her.

I sat down and took a sip of my tea, "No, I am pretty busy here. Avery is getting that new building set up for operating Longworth Freight Company out of it. So I  haven't needed to go to town for anything. Except on Sunday when we go to church of course."

"Aren't you going to have a cookie? I hate to eat them all. They are so good!"

"No, I don't feel much like eating at the moment."

"I guess you get that way when you do all the cooking. If I cook something, then I don't want to eat it because I am just sick of looking at it. I guess it's a good thing I have a cook for the hotel," she laughed.

"No, it's not that. I usually like what I cook."

"Rachel, you look pale. Are you okay? You don't seem to be yourself today."

"I'm doing alright. I have been busy sewing for my sister, Esther's wedding. Did you hear? She is getting married to Will Delaney in two weeks."

"No, I hadn't heard. Will Delaney? Now who is he? A single man I haven't heard of. Now that's something!"

"He is in Oxford. A law clerk but will be taking a test to be a lawyer next week. So hoping he passes."

"A lawyer huh? How lucky is that?"

"My father found him for her."

"Does he plan on doing that with all your sisters?"

"Doing what?"

"Finding them husbands."

"Maybe, I don't really know. It was only me and now Esther. Avery came to him first. Will, I'm not sure about exactly."

"Some good father you have there," Ruth got up poured us both another cup of tea.

"He is the best," I agreed with her. "How did you meet your husband?"

"Well my father certainly didn't find him for me. He was considerably older than me. I grew up on a small dirt farm in southern Pennsylvania. My father could hardly pay the bills with what little he made off the crops. One day Byron rode into town and was looking for farmers that could grow produce for the restaurant he was putting in his hotel. He needed produce grown further south than New York and he made a deal with my father among other small farmers. Everyone needed the money."

"So in a way your father did provide you with a husband."

Ruth paused, "I guess I never thought of it that way. But yeah, he did. He grew vegetables for him for two years. Then one day, Byron came to pick them up and he got to talking to me. Next time he came he had bought a ring for me and asked me to marry him."

"What did your father say?"

"He was glad to get rid of one more mouth to feed. He figured it was my best offer. Bryon was older, but very wise and he had money. My sisters both married dirt farmers and have had hard lives. My baby sister, Wilma died having her sixth baby. My two brothers are dirt farmers too and my oldest brother, Raymond went west. Don't know if he is dead or alive."

"I guess I am lucky. Avery is a good provider. I think maybe my father knew he would be and I wouldn't have too hard of a life."

"Yes Rachel, I think that is exactly why your father is arranging the marriages of yourself and your sisters in advance. It really is a smart move, but so unromantic. Of course, with you and Avery, that's not the case anymore, now is it?" She looked up at me to see my reaction.

I blushed, "I love him, if that's what you mean."

Ruth laughed, "Now that is not hard to do is it? Avery Longworth is a very easy to love type of man. What is your sister's husband to be like?"

"I think she will adjust to living in town. That is what she didn't want but I think she will like it. I would have never liked it. I have to have room. And horses."

"I never thought a woman would really love horses so much. They serve their purpose alright and I like mine and get attached to them. I don't know I'd say I have to have them."

"I love them. I have always ridden with my father. Now Avery and I share that love of them. He really cares about the animals you know, not just to use them. Their health, their comfort and he talks to them. I love that about him. Sign of a caring man." I smiled at the thought of Avery with our horses.

Later that night, when Avery had gone out to the barn to check on one of the mares who was supposed to foal soon, I thought of Ruth, Eliza and Esther, and myself. How different life was for each of us, yet we all wanted the same things. A husband and a family. How come I was chosen to have such a happy life with such a good man. The Lord has surely blessed me, and I am thankful. I got down on my knees to thank him, when I heard Avery come in behind me. "Do you mind if I join you there? I have some blessing to be thankful for myself." I nodded.

Avery got down on his knees and bowed his head, "Thank you heavenly Father for all the blessing you have bestowed on this lowly man. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful woman to be my wife and the mother of my children. Thank your for our little Benjamin, and hopefully, soon we will have another little one on the way. Thank you for my good health in recovering from my accident which could have been much worse. Guide us, Rachel and me as we make way through this life raising our family with an eye on you Lord. Please Lord, protect my brother Jacob, wherever he may be and whatever he may be doing. Guard him and bring him back safely to our home soon. In Jesus's name, I ask it all. Amen."

"Amen." I responded. Noting the blessing he bestowed on his brother. He was uttermost on his mind. Thinking how my news will fill him with much happiness. I think I shall tell him tomorrow night after a special supper. He will be so happy to know that I am having our second child. I think it is safe to tell him now after my morning sickness has lessened. I don't want to tell him and be wrong about it and disappoint him. I am pretty sure now. "Oh yes, thank you Lord!"

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

A Quiet Day For Rachel

Photo Credit: Jon Sullivan

This morning I made our breakfast, gave Benjamin a  cracker and I sat down to eat. Avery came in from the barn and put a pail of milk on the counter. I handed him a dish of eggs, bacon, biscuits and stewed fruit. He took the plate and said, "Thanks Rachel," and sat down and started to eat. I sat down again and just as I took my first taste of bacon, I felt a wave of nausea come over me. I jumped up and ran out the door, leaning over the porch railing. Avery came quickly behind me, "Rachel, what's wrong? Can I help?"

I shook my head and barely whispered, "No, go back inside with the baby. I'll be okay in a minute."

"If you're sure."

"Yes, just go back inside. I'll be back in soon."

I stood in the fresh air until I felt better, then went back inside. Avery looked up at me, "Are you okay?"

"Just had a bad moment there. I am okay now." I looked at my plate of breakfast, "I can't eat that though."

"You coming down with something? Maybe you need to see Doc Burns." Avery said as he took my biscuits off my plate as I walked by with it.

"Here, you want the rest of it. I can't eat it."

"If you're sure you don't want it. Don't want it to go to waste." He took my whole plate from my hand and started eating again.

I picked up Benjamin and started feeding him some cereal. He had no trouble eating and opened his mouth wide with a smile. I laughed in spite of the way I felt. He always seems to cheer me up. Such a happy baby. I know not all babies are as happy as he is or as easy to care for.

After Avery had left to go down to the freight office I finished cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast and put a pot of meat on the fire for later.  I will make a stew and add the vegetables in a couple hours. I felt tired and decided to go out and see if the horses needed more water and check for eggs in the hen house. The fresh air did me some good. I came in carrying Benjamin, who I usually take out with me to the barn. He loves the animals and the fresh air. I felt strange out there, as if someone was watching me. I looked around but didn't see anyone and thought it was my imagination.

We came in and I gave Benjamin a cookie and sat him on a rag rug I made for him on the floor so he could crawl around with his toys. I picked up my mending and started to work on Avery's work shirts which were in need of mending. We sat there quietly for an hour or so, I looked down at Benjamin and he had fallen asleep clutching my old rag doll. I had given it to him to play with and he seemed to like to hold onto it when he was falling asleep.

I went out to the kitchen and took a bowl of stewed fruit that I hadn't been able to eat earlier for breakfast. I ate it and then got a cup of hot tea. I heard a noise outside that made me jump. So cautiously I went to the window and peered out, scared of what might be out there. All of a sudden I heard a loud hammering........what could that be? I looked out some more. There in the old dead tree that Avery was going to cut down for firewood, but hadn't gotten to it yet, was a big  woodpecker. What a relief! I laughed at myself for being so jumpy. "What has gotten into you Rachel Longworth I asked myself? You never used to be scared of anything." I said aloud to myself. "Better get a hold of myself and stop imagining things".

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016