Disappointed!

Lola had asked me if I minded if she took a bath this morning. She had cleaned up the kitchen for me while I was out in the barn doing some morning chores. After that she had decided it would be a perfect time for a hot bath, so she got out our copper tub. Avery had bought this particular tub special for me when we first got married. He realized a woman needed a real tub. I loved it and have enjoyed many baths in it since. Lola had brought the water in and was heating it. I never have to help her do anything. In fact, she is the one who helps me the most. I kind of dread the time when the Saunders do move on and out on their own.

I figured if she was taking a bath downstairs, I would get the beds stripped  as today is the day I wash the bedding and hang it in the sun. It is the perfect day today, sunny. So I stripped Avery's and my bed and piled the sheets in my basket and moved on to their room. Their room, the guest room is not really finished yet. I had managed to get a bed for it because of my sisters visiting and staying overnight every now and then. Avery had made a small dresser for it. It is plain. Not like what I planned for my guest room. It didn't seem to be that important. When Jacob was here, he slept in the front room on the little bed that Avery used until we got married.

I went into their room to get the sheets and I pulled back the quilt and I could tell that only half of the bed had been slept in. I looked and saw some blankets folded up with a pillow on a chair. Now what is going on here? They are not sharing their bed? How strange that is if I am correct? William appears to really care about Lola and is very attentive to her. I can't imagine he would not want to share his wife's bed. Maybe I am wrong. I took the sheets off the bed and put them in my basket. I left the room and went downstairs.

I decided to check on Benjamin and saw he was awake and ready to get up. He was hungry and wanting to eat. I took him with me to the kitchen. I knocked lightly on the swinging door before entering since Lola was taking a bath. I was brought up with girls taking baths and didn't think anything of walking into the kitchen to get Benjamin a bit of food. Lola jumped. She was just getting out of the tub and wasn't covered up. She tried to cover herself with her hands.

I said, "Lola, it's just me and Benjamin. Nobody else. I just need to get him a little piece of cracker."

She stood there looking fearful, "I'm sorry". She turned from me to dry off. I looked at her back and she had scars. Not just one scar but it looked like many scars. All over it and she had some on the backs of her legs. I wanted to say something to her, but she seemed ready to run if I said a word to her. I got the cracker for Benjamin and took a piece of fruit and left the kitchen.

I sat holding Benjamin thinking about what I saw. It looks like she has been beaten and not just once. I know what that scarring means on a person. She is a little women. I thought of the size of William Saunders' hands. I just cannot believe he would do such a thing to her. What about all the Bible reading and praying he does? I cannot let him stay here if he is beating his poor wife. No wonder Lola isn't sleeping in the same bed. I wouldn't either. She is so dependent on him though. Always looks to him before she answers Avery or me. She must be afraid of him, though I didn't have a sense of that before.

When I saw Lola outside emptying the tub, I went into the kitchen. I needed to think of what to do in this case. I know William has not laid a hand on her since they have been here. She is safe here with us. So I will try to keep them here longer though no one has mentioned their leaving.

That night I kept a close eye on William and the way he was with Lola. She didn't appear to be scared of him at all. In fact, she seemed to trust him and even love him. It was hard for me to be pleasant to him though. I saw him look at me several times like he couldn't understand what has made me mad at him. I told them I was tired and was going to bed early. I came to bed and just lay there hearing Avery's voice downstairs talking with William. Even Avery likes William, and I did too. It makes me so mad that he has turned out to be a wife beater. I must not be as good a judge of people as I thought.

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Unexpected Visitors

Photo Credit: State Library Of Queensland

It has been a week since I told Avery I was pregnant. He is treating me like I am fragile again. I am almost over my morning sickness by now. I am excited about having another baby. Benjamin will have another child to play with as he gets older. I so didn't want to have only one child. I hope to have many more. A large family is what we want. After Avery left for work this morning, I went out to gather eggs and I could feel again as if someone was watching me. I hate that feeling. I hate acting like one of those prissy girls afraid of every little thing. Next time I go out to the barn, I am carrying my pistol in my pocket. It is small, a woman's gun, but it will shoot nevertheless.

I heard horse hooves on the road and went to the door to look out. There was a man and a woman riding up the road. I had never seen them before. They stopped out front and talked to each other, then rode into our drive. I stepped out the door, "Hello," I said.

"Are you Mrs. Longworth?" the man asked.

I nodded, "Yes, I am."

"Well, my name is William Saunders and this is my wife Lola. I have just had a meeting with your husband and he sent us here. He said to tell you that he'll be along soon. We have no place to go and don't know no one. He said you'd give us a little something to eat. We haven't eaten in days. Maybe we could sleep in your barn?"

I looked at his wife, she nodded but didn't speak. She looked pale and  I could tell she was very skinny under the dress she was wearing. Her eyes looked weary, her body weak. I took in their horses, good saddles, looked like quality animals that had recently been through lean times. I walked over to the woman's horse and touched his shoulder, he felt warm. His instinct told him to trust me and he smelled of me. I pat his head then said, "Mr. Saunders, get your wife down. Help her up the steps, I will take the horses to the barn."

I led the horses into the barn. Our horses were out in the pasture, so I took them into two empty stalls. Gave them fresh water, and took off the saddles quickly. I heard someone behind me, it was Mr. Saunders. "Mrs. Longworth, you should have let me do that. It's too heavy for you."

I looked at him, "Mr. Saunders, I have been tacking up horses my whole life. It is not hard work for me."

"Oh, I didn't mean anything......to imply that you couldn't do it."

I looked at him, he seemed worn out. I wondered what Avery had gotten us into now. But kept silent. I grabbed a pail and filled it with some apples from the bin. I will add some pies to our supper tonight. Looks like these people could stand to eat a good meal. He followed me out of the barn and up the path to the house and didn't say a word.

His wife was sitting on the bench and got up as we came up the stairs. I opened the door, and heard Benjamin stirring from his nap. I told them to sit down and I went into the front room and picked him up and brought him out to the kitchen, "Aw, look at him," Mr. Saunders spoke and looked at his wife. She smiled weakly.

I put Benjamin in his seat near the table. He stared at the strangers but didn't make a peep. I turned to Mr. Saunders, "I don't know your story, but I don't have time for it right now. I need to get some food into your wife. My husband will be home soon and wanting his supper. So it is best I get started. I have a venison roast on the fire now," I motioned toward the pot hanging on the hearth. I knew they could smell it.

I quickly peeled the apples from the pail and Lola finally spoke, "Uh, Miz Longworth, I could give you a hand with that. I know how to cook."

I started to say no, then thought better of it, "Here wash your hands," I poured water in the basin for her pushed the soap nearby. She nodded and started washing.

Mr.Saunders then said, "Lola is a fine cook, Mrs. Longworth. You'll see." He smiled at her and she smiled back. I looked at her and saw she had been a pretty woman until hard times had hit them, or whatever had happened to bring them here to our home tonight. All of a sudden I heard the hooves of Avery's horse.  I rushed to the door as he rode in. I turned back to my guests, and saw that Lola was putting the crusts in the pie pans.

"I'll be right back. Keep an eye on my son."

I hurried out the barn. Avery was brushing down Black Knight. "Avery!"

He turned to look at me, "Rachel, I see my friends have made it here."

"Your friends? Do you know these people?"

"In a way. They were down by the freight office yesterday and I spoke to them. Then this morning they were back again. I think they slept in the hay loft. I didn't say anything, but later I noticed them picking up pieces of apples that children had given one of the horses. Eating them right from the ground! I couldn't leave them there another night."

"Well, the wife, Lola, is half starved. She is helping me with supper right now."

Avery caught a hold of me, and looked into my eyes, "You're not angry with me then?"

I looked into the eyes of my husband, "How could I be angry with a man helping a starving man and woman? Isn't that what Jesus would have done? I am proud of you for sending them here to our home."

"The Lord has blessed us Rachel. We need to help others best we can. Times are tough."

I grabbed his hand, "Come let us get these people fed and a warm bed to sleep in tonight. Their horses were worn out and hungry too. Might have to give them a little extra when you come out later."

"Yes, always thinking of the horses, aren't you Rachel?" He smiled down at me, "Yes, let's get these people taken care of. It's a sad thing to see a couple out there picking up garbage to eat. We have so much."

I nodded, tears glistening in my eyes as I thought how blessed I truly am.

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Life Goes On

Photo Credit: Jon Sullivan

I have been feeling sick for over two weeks now. I am positive I am carrying our second baby. I have not told Avery yet what I suspect. He has been busy getting the building ready in town to run the freight business from. I am afraid he will worry about me if he knows I am already pregnant again. Besides I think I want to keep it to myself for a little while. It hasn't been easy hiding being sick when I prepared breakfast. What I have been doing is to rise earlier. Then I get the fire going, the coffee brewing and I study my Bible in the lamplight for awhile. It has proved to be the perfect time.

Today Ruth came for a surprise visit. She brought me gifts of oranges that a friend of her late husband had brought her from down south. They were bright orange and shiny. I will hate to use them as I like the way they look on my table in a bowl. We sat down to a cup of tea in the kitchen and I felt sick again. I waited for the feeling to pass.

"Rachel, you don't get to town much anymore do you?' she asked as she chose a cookie from the plate I had put down in front of her.

I sat down and took a sip of my tea, "No, I am pretty busy here. Avery is getting that new building set up for operating Longworth Freight Company out of it. So I  haven't needed to go to town for anything. Except on Sunday when we go to church of course."

"Aren't you going to have a cookie? I hate to eat them all. They are so good!"

"No, I don't feel much like eating at the moment."

"I guess you get that way when you do all the cooking. If I cook something, then I don't want to eat it because I am just sick of looking at it. I guess it's a good thing I have a cook for the hotel," she laughed.

"No, it's not that. I usually like what I cook."

"Rachel, you look pale. Are you okay? You don't seem to be yourself today."

"I'm doing alright. I have been busy sewing for my sister, Esther's wedding. Did you hear? She is getting married to Will Delaney in two weeks."

"No, I hadn't heard. Will Delaney? Now who is he? A single man I haven't heard of. Now that's something!"

"He is in Oxford. A law clerk but will be taking a test to be a lawyer next week. So hoping he passes."

"A lawyer huh? How lucky is that?"

"My father found him for her."

"Does he plan on doing that with all your sisters?"

"Doing what?"

"Finding them husbands."

"Maybe, I don't really know. It was only me and now Esther. Avery came to him first. Will, I'm not sure about exactly."

"Some good father you have there," Ruth got up poured us both another cup of tea.

"He is the best," I agreed with her. "How did you meet your husband?"

"Well my father certainly didn't find him for me. He was considerably older than me. I grew up on a small dirt farm in southern Pennsylvania. My father could hardly pay the bills with what little he made off the crops. One day Byron rode into town and was looking for farmers that could grow produce for the restaurant he was putting in his hotel. He needed produce grown further south than New York and he made a deal with my father among other small farmers. Everyone needed the money."

"So in a way your father did provide you with a husband."

Ruth paused, "I guess I never thought of it that way. But yeah, he did. He grew vegetables for him for two years. Then one day, Byron came to pick them up and he got to talking to me. Next time he came he had bought a ring for me and asked me to marry him."

"What did your father say?"

"He was glad to get rid of one more mouth to feed. He figured it was my best offer. Bryon was older, but very wise and he had money. My sisters both married dirt farmers and have had hard lives. My baby sister, Wilma died having her sixth baby. My two brothers are dirt farmers too and my oldest brother, Raymond went west. Don't know if he is dead or alive."

"I guess I am lucky. Avery is a good provider. I think maybe my father knew he would be and I wouldn't have too hard of a life."

"Yes Rachel, I think that is exactly why your father is arranging the marriages of yourself and your sisters in advance. It really is a smart move, but so unromantic. Of course, with you and Avery, that's not the case anymore, now is it?" She looked up at me to see my reaction.

I blushed, "I love him, if that's what you mean."

Ruth laughed, "Now that is not hard to do is it? Avery Longworth is a very easy to love type of man. What is your sister's husband to be like?"

"I think she will adjust to living in town. That is what she didn't want but I think she will like it. I would have never liked it. I have to have room. And horses."

"I never thought a woman would really love horses so much. They serve their purpose alright and I like mine and get attached to them. I don't know I'd say I have to have them."

"I love them. I have always ridden with my father. Now Avery and I share that love of them. He really cares about the animals you know, not just to use them. Their health, their comfort and he talks to them. I love that about him. Sign of a caring man." I smiled at the thought of Avery with our horses.

Later that night, when Avery had gone out to the barn to check on one of the mares who was supposed to foal soon, I thought of Ruth, Eliza and Esther, and myself. How different life was for each of us, yet we all wanted the same things. A husband and a family. How come I was chosen to have such a happy life with such a good man. The Lord has surely blessed me, and I am thankful. I got down on my knees to thank him, when I heard Avery come in behind me. "Do you mind if I join you there? I have some blessing to be thankful for myself." I nodded.

Avery got down on his knees and bowed his head, "Thank you heavenly Father for all the blessing you have bestowed on this lowly man. Thank you for giving me the most beautiful woman to be my wife and the mother of my children. Thank your for our little Benjamin, and hopefully, soon we will have another little one on the way. Thank you for my good health in recovering from my accident which could have been much worse. Guide us, Rachel and me as we make way through this life raising our family with an eye on you Lord. Please Lord, protect my brother Jacob, wherever he may be and whatever he may be doing. Guard him and bring him back safely to our home soon. In Jesus's name, I ask it all. Amen."

"Amen." I responded. Noting the blessing he bestowed on his brother. He was uttermost on his mind. Thinking how my news will fill him with much happiness. I think I shall tell him tomorrow night after a special supper. He will be so happy to know that I am having our second child. I think it is safe to tell him now after my morning sickness has lessened. I don't want to tell him and be wrong about it and disappoint him. I am pretty sure now. "Oh yes, thank you Lord!"

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

A Quiet Day For Rachel

Photo Credit: Jon Sullivan

This morning I made our breakfast, gave Benjamin a  cracker and I sat down to eat. Avery came in from the barn and put a pail of milk on the counter. I handed him a dish of eggs, bacon, biscuits and stewed fruit. He took the plate and said, "Thanks Rachel," and sat down and started to eat. I sat down again and just as I took my first taste of bacon, I felt a wave of nausea come over me. I jumped up and ran out the door, leaning over the porch railing. Avery came quickly behind me, "Rachel, what's wrong? Can I help?"

I shook my head and barely whispered, "No, go back inside with the baby. I'll be okay in a minute."

"If you're sure."

"Yes, just go back inside. I'll be back in soon."

I stood in the fresh air until I felt better, then went back inside. Avery looked up at me, "Are you okay?"

"Just had a bad moment there. I am okay now." I looked at my plate of breakfast, "I can't eat that though."

"You coming down with something? Maybe you need to see Doc Burns." Avery said as he took my biscuits off my plate as I walked by with it.

"Here, you want the rest of it. I can't eat it."

"If you're sure you don't want it. Don't want it to go to waste." He took my whole plate from my hand and started eating again.

I picked up Benjamin and started feeding him some cereal. He had no trouble eating and opened his mouth wide with a smile. I laughed in spite of the way I felt. He always seems to cheer me up. Such a happy baby. I know not all babies are as happy as he is or as easy to care for.

After Avery had left to go down to the freight office I finished cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast and put a pot of meat on the fire for later.  I will make a stew and add the vegetables in a couple hours. I felt tired and decided to go out and see if the horses needed more water and check for eggs in the hen house. The fresh air did me some good. I came in carrying Benjamin, who I usually take out with me to the barn. He loves the animals and the fresh air. I felt strange out there, as if someone was watching me. I looked around but didn't see anyone and thought it was my imagination.

We came in and I gave Benjamin a cookie and sat him on a rag rug I made for him on the floor so he could crawl around with his toys. I picked up my mending and started to work on Avery's work shirts which were in need of mending. We sat there quietly for an hour or so, I looked down at Benjamin and he had fallen asleep clutching my old rag doll. I had given it to him to play with and he seemed to like to hold onto it when he was falling asleep.

I went out to the kitchen and took a bowl of stewed fruit that I hadn't been able to eat earlier for breakfast. I ate it and then got a cup of hot tea. I heard a noise outside that made me jump. So cautiously I went to the window and peered out, scared of what might be out there. All of a sudden I heard a loud hammering........what could that be? I looked out some more. There in the old dead tree that Avery was going to cut down for firewood, but hadn't gotten to it yet, was a big  woodpecker. What a relief! I laughed at myself for being so jumpy. "What has gotten into you Rachel Longworth I asked myself? You never used to be scared of anything." I said aloud to myself. "Better get a hold of myself and stop imagining things".

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Girl Talk With Eliza & Esther

Photo Credit: George Eastman House

Esther and Will Delaney are getting married. The best part is that now, Esther is happy about it. She took Avery's advice and talked to him. She asked him questions about his plans which would now include her. He told her what she needed to know. She didn't really want to live in town, but once he showed her the house he had bought for them, she has changed her mind on that. It is a big house and he is working on it with his father and brothers when he is off work. He told her he wants a downstairs room for an office, since he will be working for himself as soon as he passes his test to be a lawyer.

Esther and my friend, Eliza came out to visit me so Esther could tell me all about Will and her wedding. Eliza drove Father's buggy since Esther has never been comfortable driving the buggy herself. Eliza is very good at driving, almost as good as I am. She has been doing it since she was small, often driving other local women who do not like to drive horses themselves. Maybe they never learned or are afraid of the horses. Eliza's family consists of her, her father and grandfather now, since her mother died when she was born. Her brother is married and they don't see him that often. So it was nice for me to see Eliza again, this time with Esther.

As we were sitting down to a little lunch I quickly put together, Esther said, "Well, you and Avery were right about everything. Thank you for that talk you gave me the last time I was here."

"I understand that you have now formally accepted Will's proposal of marriage?" I questioned.

"Yes, I have. He had made lots of plans that didn't know about or if I would like them or not since I refused to talk to him. He said when he came out to our house for supper that night he was all set to tell me everything and see what I thought. Then when I would not talk to him, well, he didn't know what to do."

Eliza, who had been holding Benjamin on her lap, put him down on his rug on the floor and walked around the kitchen looking at everything, "Oh Rachel, you really have a nice home. I wanted to tell you that day I came with your family but you were so busy with everyone."

"Thank you. I have been working on the house a bit here and there. Avery had the house finished but it needed a woman's touch."

"I remember when we were swimming at the creek before you got married. Remember? You weren't too sure about getting married."

"Oh, that seems like centuries ago!" I laughed as I remembered that day with the girls. One of the last before my marriage.

"Are you glad now that got married? And that you married Avery?"

"I love him with all my heart. He is so good to me and our son. Yes, I am very glad."

"I will never get married." Eliza said.

"You don't know that." Esther answered.

"No, I won't. I know it. Your father is the one who found you both husbands. I have to do it all myself. And I don't dare talk to a man, unless he is someone I know already."

"You know a lot of boys from school and around town," I said trying to encourage her.

"Look Esther has just turned 16 and now she is getting married too. Your father does that for you girls and all your sisters too. I have a father who doesn't really want me to get married. He wants me to stay so I can cook, clean and sew for him and Grandpa."

"What would he say if someone came to him and ask to meet you?" Esther asked.

"He would most likely discourage him in some way."

"Oh Eliza, that is horrible!" I exclaimed thinking how I always knew I would be a wife and mother some day.

"It's not so bad. At least I can do what I want as long as I take care of the house."

Esther asked, "Would you marry a man you didn't know?"

"Without a single minute of hesitation. I'd be out of the house so fast without a word to either of them," she replied bitterly.

Later as I reflected on Esther and Eliza's visit, I thought how Esther had been so miserable at the thought of having to get married to a man she did not know. And how Eliza's situation was exactly the opposite. She would never be able to get married to anyone, so would marry the first man who asked whether she knew him or not. She wanted to leave her home. My sister, Esther did not want to leave our family home. So different.

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016

Marriage Isn't So Bad

Photo Credit: Jon Sullivan

Esther came home with Avery and me when we came home Sunday, after dinner with my parents. Father talked to us in private. He asked us to try to talk some sense into her because she had to get married eventually. Will Delaney would be able to provide a good home for her. He is a law clerk now but training to be a lawyer, and will make a good amount money to raise a family with. Father pointed out that if she doesn't cooperate soon, Will probably will choose someone else.

Avery said to me at home, "It almost sounds like love doesn't enter into it anymore, does it?"

"Well I didn't love you when I married you. I didn't even know you."

"I guess that's right. I loved you."

"No you didn't. How could you? I never even spoke to you till we had lunch at your parents' house."

"I loved  the idea of you."

"How's that?"

"Well, you know, I met your father at Corbin's store and he talked about you training the horses. Then he mentioned how you made him apple pies and they were so delicious."

"And that made you fall in love with me?"

"Nope."

"Well, then what?"

"It was when the Corbin kid told me how beautiful you were, and I was smitten."

"He did? Which one? Not Sid!"

"Yeah, that's the one. Sid. He told me you were beautiful and he was right."

"I can't believe Sid Corbin thought I was beautiful."

"Well, after that I had to have you and I met your Father again and asked him. He told me you were too young."

"He did? Was this after you came to our house for supper? You never spoke to me."

"He told me I had to get my house built. He also told me that your horses come with you. He said I had to promise him, that I would allow you to do what you want with horses because you had a way with them."

"What did you say then?"

"Well, I told him that was something that I liked about you. Your love for horses, since they are the center of my business."

"Were you disappointed to see I wasn't beautiful?"

"No, I saw you were beautiful. And you still are."

"You never said why you didn't talk to me."

"I didn't know what to say."

"We talk now."

"It is different now. We know each other. I did not know you at all. You seemed childlike and sometimes I felt like I was too old for you."

"And now?"

"You are catching up to me." Avery laughed.

I laughed as he gathered me in his arms. "Oh Rachel, my life is unbelievable since you came into it. I love you with every breath in my body. I want to grow old with you. I want to watch our children grow up and have their families, our grandchildren."

"Our children?"

""I want lots!"

I laughed again, but just then Esther appeared at the door carrying Benjamin.

"Oh excuse me." She started to close the kitchen door.

"No, Esther, you are not interrupting. Come here and bring our little Benjamin here." I stretched out my arms to take my son.

Esther handed him to me and seemed quiet, then she spoke, "You two seem so happy. I know I am not supposed to, but I envy you."

Avery looked her in the eyes and took her hands in his and said, "Esther, marriage is what you make it. If you go into a marriage with a chip on your shoulder and resenting a man because he wanted to marry you. Well, then you will get a miserable husband and you will be miserable as well. If you go into it with expectations of making a life together, having a family and sharing the sorrows and joys to come, then you too, will have happy marriage and a man who loves you."

"But you and Will Delaney are two different men. Rachel is lucky. I will not be."

"Esther," I spoke then, "Avery would not have been a man you would have wanted either. You do not like horses. You would not have liked a man who left you at home while he was away for weeks, like when we first got married. That is why Father felt he was the man for me."

She looked at us both, holding back her tears, "I don't know Will Delaney. What if he doesn't like me?"

Avery said, "Get to know him. Talk to him. Find out what his plans are. Then you can see if it is worth getting so upset over. Might be, that you will like his plans. You won't know unless you talk to him."

She smiled a sheepish grin, "That does make sense. I don't know what he wants to do except be a lawyer."

I said, "Talk to him. Invite him to dinner again. This time sit next to him and talk to him!"

"Okay, I will."

Copyright © 2010  Kathleen G. Lupole
Updated 2016